She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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