I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
