Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
