do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
