She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
