even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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