As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
