what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
