eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
