Don't make out with my wife yet
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
