Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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