Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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