If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
