I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
we should paint friendship bongs
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
