Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
