I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
