Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
