you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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