Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
