hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
