Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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