I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am midnight drunk by noon
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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