Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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