He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
