no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
