This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
