dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
