me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He felt like a one man threesome
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
