Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
