I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
