remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
