I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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