What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
