I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
