How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
