yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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