it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
