what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
