swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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