He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have fence marks all over my body
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
