All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
