I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
