return my video game
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
