last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
