Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
