I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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