How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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