Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
