dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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