I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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